


The Paladins of EH OHH

by ThatScottishShipper



Category: Teletubbies (TV), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Gen, Inspiration, Morning Routines, Parody, Rude Awakening, Sorry Not Sorry, Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), coran gets an idea, hunk is lala, keith is po, lance can be anything you want him to be baby, pidge is dipsy, shiro is tinky winky, teletubbies au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 16:49:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16141430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatScottishShipper/pseuds/ThatScottishShipper
Summary: Strange morning announcements? Padded onesies? Custard machines?Coran gets an idea.*Inspired by a Terrible But Beautiful Voltron/Teletubbies AU created by yours truly and a very good friend*





	The Paladins of EH OHH

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tenaciouscorpse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenaciouscorpse/gifts).



> Normally prefer author note's at the end, but this calls for a change. This fanfic was inspired by a Voltron/Teletubbies AU created by myself and the amazing @tenaciouscorpse because the Paladins, much like the Teletubbies, are colour coordinated because what are we, animals?
> 
> All I can say is #SorryNotSorry.
> 
> At the very least, it might give you a good laugh and is dedicated to all that enjoyed our ramblings this morning. Also it seemed like a good idea at the time. Enjoy.

“Tell me why we’re doing this again?” Pidge mumbled, still half asleep.

The rest of the Paladins were equally confused, as was Allura, who struggled to keep her eyes open. After a blissful sleep, everyone was rudely awakened by an unauthorised announcement that even the Princess was unaware of.

The Green Paladin blinked hard, still flinching from the awful din that startled her out of a comfortable sleep next to Rover.

That terrible noise that sounded suspiciously like Coran, who was currently absent.

  
  


_ “Wakey wakey, Paladins! Time to rise and shine! _

_ Beyond the Stars and Far Away, _

_ The Paladins come out to play!” _  
  


 

Pidge didn’t even know speakers could come out the floor like that, in every bedroom.

The others were less pleased. Lance grunted as he peeled off the remnants of his beauty mask, as if shedding a second skin, muttering about the nerve of some people. Shiro and Keith, their bleary red eyes met, more confused by the altered morning routine. Hunk yawned loudly, barely processing where he was. Allura tried to comfort the mice who were also scared out their wits by the sudden screech of the tannoy.

As consciousness returned to the sleepy Paladins, they became aware of something colourful draped across the nearby table on the bridge. Shiro cocked an eyebrow curiously as he walked over, eventually followed by the others as curiosity got the better of them.  
  


They were then greeted with a collection of what appeared to be… onesies? Generously padded and in colours of red, purple, green and yellow. Each costume also bore a hood with a unique shape protruding from the top. Keith naturally gravitated towards the red one, observing the unfamiliar garment from every angle, including the circular shape from the hood.

“Huh,” Keith sighed, unsure what to make of this peculiar thing.

 

As the Red Paladin turned around, ready to enquire what the others thought, the bridge doors opened and Coran finally entered with a dramatic flare. Great. Another fright given by Hunk’s sudden jump.

“ _ A-ha! _ Good morning, Paladins!” Coran cheerfully broadcast, nudging Lance as he passed. “Enjoy my little announcement this morning?”

So Coran was responsible. Shiro took a step forward, asserting himself without being disrespectful to the Altean man. “Coran, about that, why the change to the morning routine? We thought something terrible was wrong.”

“And what’s with these pyjamas?” Keith asked, holding the red clothing out.

“And the weird speaker system?” Pidge added, itching to know.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Lance pouted, pointing to the red article in Keith’s hands. “Why isn’t there one for me too? I don’t see any blue!”

“And that weird microwave with a nose spewing space goo?” Hunk cringed, pointing to the curious device nearby that indeed dispelled a strange thick substance in the corner. He dipped his finger in and tasted it. “Tastes like… custard?”

“Coran, I must confess I do find this all a little strange,” Allura confessed to her dear friend. “What is going on?”

 

The ever happy Coran held up his hands. 

“One at a time, Paladins. One at a time. First of all, it is important that I stress following the great success of our recruitment tours, attention to our cause is at an all time high.” Coran twirled his moustache, continuing to explain the reasoning behind his actions. “As such, I - Coran Hieronymous Wimbleton Smythe - took it upon myself to indulge in a bit of research. My findings came from a closer to home than expected source, one might say?”

He raised his eyebrows in a knowing gesture meant to put the Paladins at ease.

It didn’t.

 

“That doesn’t explain why you scared the life of everyone on board, Coran,” Hunk said, rubbing his tired eyes.

“All in due time, my boy,” Coran continued, pacing around every person on the bridge. “I came across a media form popular with the earthlings and then a devilishly ingenious idea came to me. To ensnare the hearts of the masses in the same way as this show, to ensure undying support across the galaxy, we can project these charming ideas into our Paladin personas like on the stage shows!”

A pause for dramatic effect. “Hence, from this day forward, the Paladins of Voltron will be the next Tele-”

 

“No,” Hunk stated firmly, knowing exactly where this was going. He was a family boy with designated televisions nights so the clues were all adding up and he didn’t like it. “No chance.”

“Come on!” Coran insisted, practically tearing at the eyes. “Charming catchphrases! Cute outfits! We’ll be the talk of the galaxy!”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Pidge groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Stamping his foot, deciding he had enough, Keith stormed to the bridge door, tossing his red padded costume to the floor. “Call me when there’s an actual emergency.”

Shiro quickly followed suit, not entirely getting it, but enough to shoot Coran an apologetic smile as he ran out after Keith.

“Wait!” Coran pleaded, watching his beautiful plan fall to pieces in a matter of minutes. “It’s not time for Pala-Bye-Bye yet!”

That did little to discourage Allura gracefully leaving with the mice on her shoulder, and Pidge springing away with the curious space goo dispelling machine that had been ignored until now. A small smile graced her lips, something good coming out of this strange morning.

A feeble cry left Coran’s lips as Hunk also left, but not before also giving him an awkward smile. “Hey, I know you tried, but this? Not the way to do it, man.”

Dejected Coran collapsed onto the floor, lamenting his wonderful plan gone to ruins. Ruminating in his own misery, Lance finally broke the silence after a brief spell of quietness.

“...So… do I get one too?”

 

And in an instant, Coran’s eyes glistened with hope.


End file.
